Yet Another Reason I Love to Teach my boys at home

Oh, you all know why I love to homeschool right? I'm needing to post that story, but for tonight you'll get this reason.

Reason #289 that I love to homeschool:

Keeping up with the brains.

Tonight the boys and I played Pictionary together. They thought of their own words, and we had a wonderful time guessing what Eli's circles and lines together were- various dinosaurs, of course. But I was floored when Joe drew a man with a NASA shirt...then insisted that I had to keep guessing after "astronaut." What? I'm thinking? So I guessed a "Neil Armstrong." Yup, he said.

Ok, so that may not sound like much.
THEN he drew an octopus and a snail and a line connecting the two. "Invertebrates" I knew to guess...remember, I went to school this year too. But alas, I was still not close enough. "Mollusks, Mom!" Oh good gravy! Seriously!

Then it was Babe Ruth and on and on....and I decided I will not stop teaching my boys lest they pass me up and I'm out of the game, entirely.

Joe has his Encyclopedia Brown series sorted out on his bookshelf in his room. Piles sorted by "read," "partly read," and to be read. This is the eight-year old who totally fooled me on April 1st by telling me some random fact whilst reading his encyclopedia. I absolutely believed him.

I'd better read those books too, quick.

To tell you the truth...

...not that I've been lying.

However, I would say that I've had many posts where I've tried to paint myself in a "our family is happy and thrives well" only light. Sometimes I like to get a little sticky and give you some of the dirt. So now, on to the dirt.

Our sweet four year old has been in a funk. A LONG funk. For over a year he's been talking with that maddening baby voice so many little ones find fascinating....the same voice that drives most adults up the wall. The voice alone wasn't so worry-some, but the fact that no matter what we tried with him for change he persisted with the voice. Then some other baby-ish behaviors followed, only adding to the puzzle. I personally, was stumped. I prayed for wisdom and change. I did the research, asked other moms...usually I came up with the same answer; it's an attention thing.

I have not been so patient with this process. I've been feeling like *urrrgh* the baby talk would never, ever stop. As a result, I'm sad to say that I've gotten less patient with Eli while waiting for the behaviour to change. Not so gracious.

I kind of ruled that out the 'not enough attention theory' after months of my husband and I intentionally seeking him out, taking him on dates, talking more with him (it's easy to let him interact so much with his brothers that we just had very little interaction with him), playing with him...none of it worked.

Last week, my husband had an idea, something we tried early on in the craze...just ignoring him until he used his normal big-kid voice.

So that there wouldn't be misunderstanding we had a family pow-wow, Ralph told all the boys that we were going to do something. When Eli used baby voice we wouldn't answer or respond to him until he used his big kid voice.

You know what? It worked.

The funny thing is, I don't think it really had that much to do with the method...more the timing. I sincerely believe that Eli just needed time to get through that space. Not only has the baby voice dis-continued, but suddenly he's far more affectionate & interacting on an entirely different level. He just needed to be a little, um, baby voice for awhile.

And it all makes me think about Grace.

grace (countable and uncountable; plural graces)

1. (not countable) Elegant movement; poise or balance.
2. (not countable, theology) Free and undeserved favour, especially of God. Unmerited divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration or sanctification.

I'm so much like that in life. I go through phases & funks. I exhibit behaviours that drive people crazy and do things that are contrary to my growth as a healthy person, friend or Christ-follower. I know that these seasons might not be the best for me but sometimes I persist in my wrong thinking or behaviours. I have really screwed up in life. But usually the people around me love me anyway and God always does. It's Grace. It's the earmark of Christianity, the single thing that seperates it from other religions (that's another blog post). I'm so, so grateful for the grace of those around me.

And I want to be a gracious parent. Lord knows my kids will continue to go through phases, long and uncomfortable to those of us around them. But these are little people, my children. And if God can be gracious to me (& this is what draws me to Him) then I certainly want to be gracious to my kids when they go through phases, however uncomfortable. I won't stop seeking wisdom both from God and the moms that have gone before me. God tells us to 'get wisdom & understanding.' I will seek Him in teaching my kiddos how to live and behave, while they are home with us. And I'll be gracious to them when they're living in obnoxious or sinful seasons. I want them, after all, to see love as the greatest good in our home.

And lest you think that's the worst of our dirt, of course of it's not. Just all I'm up to airing today.

Competition

The challenge of the age;

to compete with the technology of the world. I am taking my job seriously, to compete with video games, television and one day... sometimes I fear one day.

My boys LOVE to play video games. TV is alright, but video games- certainly addictive. They can't wait to play...and then when they're playing they're so intense...and when they're done, "Can I just finish my level?"

So far the boys just play games on the PC. They typically get 20-30 minutes a day (according to age) and they're used to the timer now. It helps that I give them a 3 minute warning. "Finish your level..." Sometimes I want to buy a game 'system' so they can all just play at the same time and get it over with but I fear that would only lead to new problems....new games, new game options, and they probably won't WANT to play all at the same time and just get it over with.

As many of you know I pride myself of being a mama-of-moderation (but for breastfeeding, homeschooling and Jesus). My experience growing up was that where I was forced into extreme I deviated as soon and extremely as I could. I do not want our home to be video game free, tv free...I know my boys will find the next "funner house" to go to and be there. I have read recently also that video games can be a bonding time for older boys together. The jury (our opinion) is out on this as of yet though. At any rate I don't wish to be extreme about this...yet.

So the challenge, to compete for their attentions and interest. To grow minds that understand that stories and out-door play and games can be as interesting and fun as video games. Thinking very hard about this makes me understand just why so many moms have an video game I.V. hooked up to their kids (rambunctious boys especially).

Video games are (pretty) quiet.
The house stays clean(er) when kids are playing.
Video games only require some expensive parts/games.
They're mindless entertainment for kids and parents alike.
Video games can be cleaned up in 5 minutes flat.

Everything else....it's more work. Hobbies, crafts, reading to your kids, nature hikes, setting up a tool or science set, play doh, play houses, art....all of it is messier, time consuming and harder.

So this is my call to all the parents out their who feel the pull to back off of brain-dead entertainment, starting with me. Encouragment for those who have the desire to see these little brains working in 3D, in interaction and 3D problem solving.

I am a mom. This is the job I signed up for. In the end, I want beautiful, well educated, experienced, well rounded children. I will not achieve this end result by accident, or default. I have to work for this one. So I am challenged again to push back on this draw to cyber-play all day.

So tell me, what do you do that works? How do you compete?

The answer to the dilemma...

In case you're wondering what I did about that little pool pickle I was in...what did I do? You'd better believe I just turned my head and let those boys jump. As a few of you carefully noted, this is a pool, you will get wet.

The girls did move, but one of them then was lying on the lounge chair in a most unlovely position. I am sad about what girls think is important, (I was no different) It is our job to educate and implore them to a higher "calling"....modesty. It is my job to educate my boys (or put bags over their heads).

Why my husband is the best dad on the blog

I think my husband is incredible. He's an incredible husband, a kind dad and instinctively the perfect dad for this little crew of boys. I'm getting to appreciate that more each passing year. If you do the math, I really need him around. I'm a girl. These are boys. There are some things he just knows what do do with them that I really don't.

My husband....
initiates wrestling,
entertains (but appropriates) boy-talk (boogers and the like),
gives each boy individual attention,
always takes one little guy with him when he runs errands,
lets a boy fiddle around in his office at 5 a.m. when dad is working and mom is...still asleep where she should be,
takes time and snuggles the boys at bedtime,
is perceptive to the boys' personalities, needs and patterns,
loves being with his family,
builds his life and goals around family,
is appropriately manly when playing with the boys and appropriately gentle when they get their knees or feelings hurt,
worked for hours to level the ground to put the swimming pool on so it would be just right for them,
plays games with the boys when they want to and he doesn't,
is careful to guard their eyes and little hearts,
lets me sleep in on most Saturdays even though he always wakes before me during the week,
is anxious to spend time with me in the evenings after the kids are in bed,
does the dishes after dinner without complaint,
is available for interruption when he's working to help the boys out.

My husband is wonderful, so wonderful.

These thoughts brought to you by the happiest-wife-on-the-blog

Part II~ Planting God's Word in the Hearts of Our Little Ones

I got a lot of great feedback from my previous entry, so I wanted to share some of the neat ways that fellow readers are teaching their little ones throughout the days.

In our house, I've tried to take time each night at bedtime (when kids are quiet and open to talk) to talk to the kids about the day. My oldest and I read a story from a devotion book, and read a scripture that's related. I pray with all the boys, thanking God for a good day, praying for protection and for friends. I have also chosen a scripture to teach the boys, printed it out and posted it on the boys' bathroom mirror, in their rooms and in the car. They can't all read, but one day they will...and when I see this verse I read it to them again and we talk about what it means. In the car is a great place to read these verses to the boys and talk about what they mean. I love verses on tape too, songs stick in their little hearts. I pray they will come back when the kids need the Word.

I got the boys their own Bibles, and I really love this version, it's the International Children's Version. I highly recommend.

So read on, I'm certainly going to try some of these ideas (check out the fun blogs too);

Psalm 119:11 (The Message)

^9-16 How can a young person live a clean life?
By carefully reading the map of your Word.
I'm single-minded in pursuit of you;
don't let me miss the road signs you've posted.
I've banked your promises in the vault of my heart
so I won't sin myself bankrupt.
Be blessed, God;
train me in your ways of wise living.
I'll transfer to my lips
all the counsel that comes from your mouth;
I delight far more in what you tell me about living
than in gathering a pile of riches.
I ponder every morsel of wisdom from you,
I attentively watch how you've done it.
I relish everything you've told me of life,
I won't forget a word of it.

Will you share with me how you teach the Word to your little ones? The exciting thing, is that as we teach, we learn.

******

Readers Share;

I have began to start the day with a Bible Story... and before we read, we pray and ask Jesus to speak to each heart, and give them a picture to color. It's one of those idea's that was God inspired. I so want my kids to know His voice, and His word. And while I read the story they listen, and when Jesus gives them a picture, they are allowed to draw, color it, sculpt it with clay... My kids love it! My littlest, Twinkle, always reminds me to do it every morning!

Hugs.. Amy

We have done devotions with the kids many different ways over the years. Now that they are older I take joy in seeing some of them take to daily devotions and Bible reading themselves. Mandi is learning that her day goes so much better when she spends time in God's Word each morning. Jeff is my night time Bible reader. Many nights I find him with a flashlight under his covers reading the Bible. This brings joy to my heart.

For Christmas we bought the New Testament on CD. It is actually read by popular christian actors and singers that my kids are familiar with. So we try to listen as a family to a chapter or two several times a week. They love this and always beg for more. It has theatrical voices which makes it entertaining but yet it is strictly the word of God. I am so pleased with it. I hope they come out with the OT.

Thanks Amanda for posting this post. It is so important to direct little ones to God's Word and then so beautiful when they desire it themselves.~ Kristin Kuhlman

We too have done this differently. Bekah and I have a special devotional for girls that is amazing we do before Bed. Cade and I had a boy one we used to do, but haven't done much lately. He just loves reading his Bible. (It helps once they read, which your boys do, to let them have their own time with God too). As a family, Cory introduced this a few months ago - simple but perfect. After dinner, we go around the table and say one thing about the day that was our favorite thing and one thing that was challenging that we'd like the family to pray about. it's awesome. Simple but I truly have heard things from the kids that without this simple forum I never would have, and even though I thought I knew what to pray about, sometimes there were details in each person's day that I didn't know about that this allows us all to be aware of and praying for. Bekah never lets us forget this routine. Being the quieter second born, I don't think she finds it as easy to get her thoughts out there, but this is a way that gives her the undivided attention of the whole family. ] So good to have a Spiritual Leader in my home (like you do too with Ralph!) so I don't have to take on that burden. P.S. Both kids are always memorizing a verse which is posted on the fridge. We started memorizing His Word when Cade was about 2. I love Amy's idea - it's one we have done as well over the years. One of my favorite drawings ever is of Cory's after meditating on a verse. A friend of mine in town has an entire scrapbook of just these drawings her family has done over the years with the verse they were reading that inspired each drawing on each picture. it's beautiful! ~Julie Oneil

Boys on testosterone

I have outlawed potty talk. Wish me luck. (Lord, have mercy)

A little cheese with your whine?

Anyone that's ever had a three year old child knows all about the whine. After two three year olds, and a few years experience, Ralph and I think we've discovered the answer to the whining!

Do you want to know our secret? "Behind every whine, is a question." says Ralph. That's it!

Example:
Son: Mom, why can't I have another cookie, he got another cookie and you got another cookie and it's nooooo fair! I'll never get another cookie for the rest of my life foreverrrr!
Mom: Do you have a question to ask me?
Son: Mom, can I please have another cookie?

Do you see how simple this is? We eventually got our kids to the point where we simply say "Try again." This cues them in to ask a question instead of whining. Now let me tell you, this is not a plan to immediately stop all whining. It's a slow habit-changing process that we have to revisit every few weeks or months. But it works, and it sure beats getting frustrated with your little ones and making the problem worse.

So the next time your little one, or a co-worker or friend begins to whine, try this;
Do you have a question for me? And remind yourself, as I do tonight, that I don't need to whine! I just need to go ask a question. Think I need to go ask for a massage....