I'm pretty certain most of my readers have fallen by the wayside in their need to do other things....other than wait for me to sit and write again. The truth is, I can't figure out why I'm not sitting to write much these days but I miss my blog like one misses an old friend so I'm sitting down for 10 minutes in between lasagna prep and reading to the boys this drizzly afternoon.
My head pounds a little today as I sift through the laundry list (oh shoot, laundry!?) of things to do & put the list in triage. I won't accomplish half of what I want to today...why is this? I don't even have a toddler! And yet here I am in the middle of the same old battle of trying to figure out what can slide another day, what must be done, and what might keep me up at night if I don't do it.
And then I stop.
And I smell the cinnamon granola on the air and hear the counting of the little boy with his LEGOS. I stop and my heart slows a little.
I hear the birds sing their song and I wonder where my mind has been, and where have I been and am I lost? I am, my mind is so very busy & loud.
I think on the things that are important and I walk over and pick up my Bible and read one verse. I pass by another boy snacking and reading at the kitchen table and ruffle his hair. I smell the iris cut and shining in all their momentary glory.
1 Peter 1: 24,25
All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the fields, the grass withers and the flowers fall.
But the Word of the Lord stands forever.
And then I walk back to my tasks and my heart sinks and I can't help feel life is just slipping through my fingers while I whittle away at my list.
I've been thinking of David. The David from the Bible. He was a King, an adulterer, a best friend, a not-shining-example of a father. He killed a lion and a bear with his own to hands, and faced a giant in spite of the jeers of his brothers. He was a shepherd boy. Back before he was a king, or anything, really, he stood in a field and watched sheep. He was to protect them, make sure they ate, drank, and got up when they fell down (this can be a problem.) It was probably the most mundane of jobs. He was probably alone a lot and didn't have fun food or any entertainment.
But because of his hearts' position, he was a favorite of God. "A man after God's own heart," God called him. I think it's because of the Psalms we still have. He stood in that hot, dry field and talked to God. He wrote songs to sing of how good God is. When he was discouraged, he remembered who God is and took comfort in it. He was just a man. A man with mundane tasks but he was a shepherd who talked to God all day long.
I'm also thinking always how I can be present; present to my family, present to my husband. And now I'm thinking how I can be a David, shepherding & ever present to God, whispering my prayers with my heart open to hear what He whispers to me, living each day with the Wisdom He gives for this day.
I'm going to slow the cadance of my day a bit. Write the list down and leave the words on paper. Be present in this task. Look my kids in the eyes and murmur thanks to the One who made it all, who gave this good life to me. The Word of the Lord stands forever.