Even the Stones Cry Out

Luke 19:38-40

"Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord!"
"Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!"

Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, "Teacher, rebuke your disciples!"

"I tell you," he replied, "if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out."

The way I see it....

the rocks do cry out.

They simply are.

They only exist.

They were made, and they are all they were made to be.

It makes me rethink what I think it means to be all that I can be, all that I should be for God.

How much do I work, or think I have to work to be what God made me to be, to be a reflection of Him. I want to be a conductor of His love, His grace. And sometimes I just try too hard.

But then one day I was running and looking at the lichen growing on the rocks, and I thought of this truth. The rocks, they do nothing but exist...and they reflect God perfectly. His beauty, His creativity, His love for things large and strong and small and delicate.

And I think of how if I were to simply be who I was made to be, that I would be perfectly glorifying God.

How much freedom is there in that?

To be, is what God wants for us.

To exist as you were made to exist is to His Glory.

To do as He called us; to love Him, to love people is His will for us.

I was wondering, what does it mean for me to be? I pondered this. To be for me, a mom and a wife....

it's to love my husband. To encourage him, to pray for him.
It's to nurture and teach my kids. To love them and care for them.
To build my home, to be anchored in God so that I can be peaceful and fun for my family.
It's to be a loving, available friend to my friends. To encourage.
And to look others in the eyes, to see people and not look past or through them. To be kind and gracious to all the folks I meet.

A rock for my family, friends and to God. A rock that is beautiful just because it is, and who lives free from the worry or trying to be what I'm supposed to be. And my life too will cry out in praise to my great God.

A good reminder from a wise little man

Lest you be tempted...Nate says "A wife should never kiss a man who isn't her husband, and a man shouldn't ever kiss a woman who's not his wife. If he did, it would just give his wife a broken heart.

Exhaustive Thankfulness

The last few weeks have been nothing short of exhausting for me. Think I've mentioned that before. It's been a season of learning for me. Of falling down, getting up again. A time of remembering just how much God loves us when we can say we've no strength in Him, because I see that I have no strength without Him.

While I'm still struggling some with getting myself out of the way, I have been reflecting on just how much I have. Just how much goodness God has poured out on me, undeserved goodness.

I often times wonder just where I would be without the sweet salvation, friendship, comfort and wisdom that God has given me over the years of my life. I have known Jesus for all of my adult life, through my teens and was raised in Him as a child. I have moved closer to Him over the years as I've desired more of Him. I was, however, a boy crazed teenager, angry with my family and unkind to myself. Where could I have been without Jesus, those nights that I talked with Him for hours and learned from the letters He left to teach us. I was already filling that God-hole in my heart with Him. What if I didn't?

I cringe to think of how I flirted with danger. How I searched out all the wrong ways to find acceptance and approval. Many offenses I passed out, forgiven. Where could I have been without Him?

I married young. I was just 21 when I married a man who just didn't know how to be kind to himself or me. For three years we fought. He was so, so unkind and I was so, so angry and lost and hurt. I was distanced from my family and friends, and felt so alone. I turned to God every night. I talked to Him and He gave me peace in that painful time. I had peace when the future looked so bleak and I loathed my hopeless life. God walked me through the painful days of betrayal and divorce, He was my friend when no one knew the shape of my heart. Oh, God. What would I be, where would I be without You?

He walked with me during the long winter of my newly-single life. I talked to Him and made Him my best friend. He spoke to me and reminded me of who I was to Him. I wasn't alone. He forgave all my unkindnesses, my anger, my own rebellion. He gave me hope for a life I felt was spent and worthless. I have to say, I truly felt used up and broken after my marriage failed. I didn't think anyone would want me..and I wasn't so sure I wanted anyone either. Who, who could have told me I was worth something? No one could have told me that in those days in a way I believed it. I was so broken.

But then like a breath of fresh air, I met my sweet husband. We met at a church camp. He was a Youth Pastor and I was there to help out with the church of my Youth. We had a few conversations and a sweet friend set us up for a double date (with her husband and her) for the following weekend. This sweet man fell in love with me fast and hard, and wooed me in a way I hadn't before been loved. Redeemer, God is. He lined me up to meet this sweet man who showed me that marriage can be a wonderful, beautiful thing. A man who supports me and treasures me. Where would I be without God's great big grace and God-match? Lonely? Still chasing love in all the wrong & empty places?

And through years of marriage, with the ups and downs.
And through babies, sleepless nights and hormones.
And through losing my two sweet little ones before I ever got to see them or meet them.
Where would I be? The holes in my heart....He has mended and filled.
And through healing and forgiveness only God can teach.
And through mothering- God has shown me so much about my boys when I was desperate for answers.
And through schooling- God gives me peace when I'm unsure and joy on the long days.
And through friendship, and pain, and growing in Him, and now telling others about Him.

How can I not? I tell everyone about the benefits of home school, of breastfeeding, of all the things I believe in because I have seen how they work.

And I have seen how God works. He works! He fixes, heals, forgives, holds, redeems, listens, gives hope, and wisdom.

I'm forever thankful for my home, my family. My job, my friendships, my church family, my home school family-

but I'm amazingly thankful for my God. The One God who thought I was worthy of His time and redemption when my life was a mess, running the other way to find something to fill me up. I am so thankful He has walked through every day of this life, miserable or not with me. He loves me.

He loves you.

Where would you be without God?

...or maybe, where could you be with Him?

Homeschooling Why?

Deut. 6:5-9 says:
“Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

Speaking of Colorado...

As many of you know (or maybe have wondered) part of our trip to Colorado was exploring the area with the eyes of a tourist, and part of the trip was looking with the eyes of "Is this a place we could live?"

I'd love to give you friends all a little background so you can understand our situation. Ralph works for a company that contracts out to the government. He works for D.C., mostly, and has been able to telecommute or be a nomadic employee for the last...um, maybe two years.

This has been a HUGE blessing. When we moved to Bend, Ralph gave up all his exciting work over there on the East Coast and took a good (but not nearly as challenging and exciting) job here in Bend. **Let me say right here that this was a HUGE sacrifice on his part. Ralph really enjoys his work right now. He loved his work back East, and wanted to continue on there, but it was really, really far from our families and I wanted to be closer to my family- so he gave it all up and took the lesser job for ME. What a dream husband!** About a year later he was able to get back on with his old company in Virginia, working at a desk right here in our house. What a dream for him, and me. We seemingly have the best of both worlds.

While his job is going well and his employers are increasingly impressed with him, (it's a good thing Ralph doesn't read my blog) his position is getting more and more frustrating because of his inability to do certain things well away from the office, and move forward in his career. He has turned down promotions in the last six months, jobs that require his physical presence. It's nearly impossible to manage a team from across the country. Ralph wants more and more to be office-accesible. The other issue we have is that there isn't a single job available to him in Central Oregon. While we aren't going to borrow trouble from tomorrow, there is a certain wisdom in setting ourselves up to succeed...in this case, having job possibilities.

So, all that to say, we have been looking at our options a bit. If we needed to move, or chose to go so that Ralph could be in a better work environment...where would we go? Our options for his work: Seattle, San Diego, Colorado, Virginia.

So that brings us to our Colorado trip. Yes, we were there to check things out. I am a little familiar with Seattle, Ralph is a little familiar with San Diego, we lived in Virginia- but we knew nothing about Colorado. So off we went.

Some of you have wondered aloud what we learned, whether we've made any decisions.

No. No decisions. We did like Colorado Springs, but we aren't at this point ready to make any decisions. We don't know for sure what we need to do, where or whether God is leading us in this area...I don't really think God cares where we live, it's how we live.

So we wait. The waiting, that's the hard part. The wait... always waiting, waiting to grow up, waiting to get married, waiting to have babies, waiting to sleep through the night, waiting...the Great Wait to be with my Savior forever. Waiting for job answers, waiting for home answers. I know you have these waits too.

But I hear God prompting me to trust Him.
And I told Him I don't know what that looks like, trusting Him in what is going to happen. That it's all going to be alright.
God asked me then, to trust Him in the process. Trust Him in the wait.


So I'm called to rest in Him. Abide in Him. Wait in Him.


That's been hard.


Yesterday, I was praying through my afternoon, God reminded me of that sweet promise: Jeremiah 29:11...

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Typically, I look at this verse and find hope that God has good plans for me, not to harm me. The hope and the future.

Yesterday I saw the other part. "...the plans I have for you."
He has plans for me.
He knows my days.
He's known all my days since before I was born.

So this, my friends is why I don't have to worry about the future. I will write His word on my heart, on my doorposts, speak them aloud all day long because if I don't, I forget.

Please remind me. And I know my friends, that I don't wait alone. I will pray for you as you wait for whatever that is for you.

the authentic side

I'm sitting in a quiet house all alone. All alone because all four of my favorite guys are outside having an ice fight...tucking ice chips in each others' clothing is hysterical for them. Each time I look out I see that some little boy has shed yet another piece of clothing because "it's wet." I think they may be on to something- there is only one place to put ice now...in the skivies BUT WAIT!! Who wants ice in your unders???

I love Saturdays. I've been thinking about the next season coming....the beautiful, playful, less-than-home-school-structured days of summer. If you didn't already know this about me I tend to get a little unraveled when big transition is on the calendar. Next week is the last day of school so I've been thinking ahead about what life will look like and I've decided that it can just look like Saturdays all in a row.

That's not to say we plan to be stagnant all summer. My self-assignment for next week is to make book lists for us for the summer. We'll be making regular trips to the library to participate in their reading program. We'll continue on with our weekly sketch challenges that are just plain fun. Also, I'm going to host a reading, drawing and writing contest over the summer so of course the boys will do that. Watch for that to join in!!

Our last camping trip was great. Probably my favorite part about camping is the great amount of relaxing and playing I do, and how little "work" and busyness I participate in. Seems like quiet and calm is a resounding theme in my life right now. Do you know what I mean? Do you ever have times when you hear God speaking something to you and it's confirmed in sacred echos all around you? Over and over you know just want God is asking of you because you hear it in your Bible Study, from a friend, a movie, a book...

The sacred Echo I'm hearing now more than ever;

*be still

**be quiet and find your confidence in Me

***live quietly, do your job

When we're camping life is so still, so quiet. Well, quiet as it can be with three boisterous boys. I have decided to do my best to bring that home. I oscillate between being too busy with a full, full calendar-- and being quiet. I'm going to try and keep a quiet summer.

Wide Margins. I heard it said that it's wise to leave wide margins.



Life has been like this for me:

worshippractice,homeschool,tball,cubscouts,homeschool,choir,read,homeschool,playdates....

I feel my heart rate going up already.

For the summer:

read

swim

blog

appointment

camping

church....

You get the idea? Wide margins....room to breathe and play and pray and read in between.

What is God stirring in you in these days?

*Psalm 46:10 (New International Version)

¹⁰ "Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.

**Isaiah 30:15 (The Message)

God Takes the Time to Do Everything Right

^15-17God, the Master, The Holy of Israel,
has this solemn counsel:
"Your salvation requires you to turn back to me
and stop your silly efforts to save yourselves.
Your strength will come from settling down
in complete dependence on me—
The very thing
you've been unwilling to do

***1 Thessalonians 4:11 (New International Version)

¹¹Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you

Contentment; Part 2

You might remember that a couple of weeks ago I was talking about discontentment, and my journey toward contentment. We're doing a neat book study at Bible Study right now, Cultivating Contentment by the ladies of Women of Faith. It's been a good part of my learning in this area. I am learning. Hopefully it's not just the learning of the mind, but learning of the heart.

These days I'm feeling quite content with our house. Spring finally sprung (at least for this week) and in spite of Eli's deadly fear of bees (or anything with wings) the boys have turned the backyard into a playroom adding serious space to our house. Along with that I love my house and am feeling happy to be there in the spring sunlight.

Have you ever read the book of Ecclesiastes? It's all about contentment. It's all about that empty place in your life that longs for something but can't be filled.

And what do I try and fill that space with? Friends, things, food, I even look to my evening (after-the-kids-are-in-bed-time) to fill me up. But alas, nothing fills.

I know my heart was made to long, to ache sometimes over something that's missing.
"God has made everything beautiful for it's own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart" Ecc 3:11

I have long been aware of the aching, and even the fact that I'm just missing my Father. Missing my Saviour and longing for the day that I get to see Him again.

And do I'm on this journey, and take much comfort that the Wisest man that ever lived, Solomon knew just what I feel and he had much advice for those of us that are discontent.

"Enjoy what you have rather than desiring what you don't have. Just dreaming about nice things is meaningless; it is like chasing the wind." Ecc 6:9