Somehow I feel like the best thing I can do is stop this morning.
So I'm sitting this morning, in my favorite morning spot, the boys are watching PBS and my husband is working on his 5 th to last day of his job, for the job he really, really already loves.
The last 3 weeks have been a blur, sitting poolside, out to eat at fancy-schmancy resturaunts. Fireworks, sleeping in my favorite little camper, playing in the river and marveling at the huge rocks God put in Yosemite. Driving, oh, can't forget all the driving and great conversations, then training for a new year of Classical Education & thought provoking reading & hearing.
All the while, my mind is twirling around the fact that we'll be leaving our home, our little community and "normal" in just a few short weeks. I've had sudden bouts of tears unexplained and created lists repeatedly. Spin. When I drove home on Wednesday I knew that this I could only call this place home for a dozen more nights or so, and that makes me sad.
These last two weeks are for saying goodbye home.
It's in pulling the blinds that spins me into remembrances with this home. I use the blinds everyday. I love them, I love the windows. I love how I know how to best keep the house cool in summer and how they let the beloved sunshine in in Winter. We've been in this house for 4 years, which isn't long for some but is for us. Eli learned to walk here. My memories stretch back that far and it seems the milestones will fade just a little when we leave this house. *sigh, sniff*
Sometimes it's a good thing to induce tears.
I have long ago let go of this house as a possession. I have loved this home and while I know that it's time to leave it, I do love this home we've been in. I find myself praying for the folks that move in, that they're time here will be blessed and that they'll fully enjoy all that we put into the house.
Home, sweet, sweet home.
Letting go is hard.
And it all makes me glad to say I'm not moving across the country in a day before communicative technology, leaving all my people behind too. I'm grateful for blogs and texting and phone and 3 hour car drives that will keep my in touch with my treasured family & friendships.
But how I have loved my sweet, little home.