Friday, July 16, 2010

Goodbye, home

Somehow I feel like the best thing I can do is stop this morning.

So I'm sitting this morning, in my favorite morning spot, the boys are watching PBS and my husband is working on his 5 th to last day of his job, for the job he really, really already loves.

The last 3 weeks have been a blur, sitting poolside, out to eat at fancy-schmancy resturaunts. Fireworks, sleeping in my favorite little camper, playing in the river and marveling at the huge rocks God put in Yosemite. Driving, oh, can't forget all the driving and great conversations, then training for a new year of Classical Education & thought provoking reading & hearing.

All the while, my mind is twirling around the fact that we'll be leaving our home, our little community and "normal" in just a few short weeks. I've had sudden bouts of tears unexplained and created lists repeatedly. Spin. When I drove home on Wednesday I knew that this I could only call this place home for a dozen more nights or so, and that makes me sad.

These last two weeks are for saying goodbye home.

It's in pulling the blinds that spins me into remembrances with this home. I use the blinds everyday. I love them, I love the windows. I love how I know how to best keep the house cool in summer and how they let the beloved sunshine in in Winter. We've been in this house for 4 years, which isn't long for some but is for us. Eli learned to walk here. My memories stretch back that far and it seems the milestones will fade just a little when we leave this house. *sigh, sniff*

Sometimes it's a good thing to induce tears.

I have long ago let go of this house as a possession. I have loved this home and while I know that it's time to leave it, I do love this home we've been in. I find myself praying for the folks that move in, that they're time here will be blessed and that they'll fully enjoy all that we put into the house.

Home, sweet, sweet home.

Letting go is hard.

And it all makes me glad to say I'm not moving across the country in a day before communicative technology, leaving all my people behind too. I'm grateful for blogs and texting and phone and 3 hour car drives that will keep my in touch with my treasured family & friendships.

But how I have loved my sweet, little home.


Jeff and Sarah said...

I will be praying for your family! It's so hard. It helps to remember that we are just pilgrim's here on earth and our homes are just temporary tents. That's what my husband reminds me when I have a hard time letting go.

Lord bless your family!


Amy said...

Hi my friend... I am sitting here, and face eyes are wet with tears. I can't even imagine how you are feeling, but I know one day I too will know. Much much grace, and comfort over your heart this next couple weeks.... (big hug)


Hazel said...

My heart is with you. I can't even begin to know...but I love you very much and pray that His eyes and hands will keep you all close to Him in the coming days.

Kerry said...

My dear friend, I so understand. I find myself flooded with the same emotions: excitement, sadness, anticipation for what God has for us next. My prayers are with all five of you. May God bless this journey and the Perko family. Can't wait to see you!!

Hilary said...

Oh, letting go IS hard. But I know, I'm sure of it, that you'll bloom where you're planted. Love to the five of you!