Cadence

I am a woman of rhythm. Not unlike a lot of you ladies, I have a cadence to my life. Most days I take this for granted... using words like monotony or sameness.

Not so today, my friend.

Tonight I cozy up to the desk with a hot cup of blackberry infusion tea in hand, ready to take on all that sameness with grace.


My sweet grandmother passed last Thursday morning.

I scooped up my boys and drove back over the mountain pass on Tuesday morning, so I got to see her several more times before she passed, though I think those visits were my benefit, as she was in a drug induced coma in those last days. I did talk to her, and held her hand...this was so important to her in the days I had stayed with her the weekend prior. Even in the night I slept at the hospital with her, my eyes would see her little fingers in the dark reaching out for a hand. What sweet, sweet memories I have of that night and those days. As my mother put so well; I fell in love with my grandmother this week. I read the word to her, she loved Psalms and I sang, sang and sang to her. I was able to recall to her favorite memories and thank her for the heritage of faith that she planted in my mother. Her few words were kind and her gentleness and love for the Lord were evident even in her last days.

We celebrated the end of her Great Wait on Saturday in Roseburg Oregon with my family. There were photos, treasures from her life and tears, stories and laughter. I loved also, the time I got with my family. It's been a rich, rich week. Equally exhausting.

After three six trips over that snowy mountain pass, I am glad to be home. After a week like this though, my rhythm is all messed up and I long for the pace of normal life. But when I got home, I found myself a little lost. This isn't unusual for me, I just don't know where to pick up after being so busy and gone...and grieving.

I have grieved before. A divorce, two sweet babies gone to me by miscarriage. I know grief well. It comes in waves, it never leaves soon and it's best accompanied with tears, memories, comic relief and the beat of sameness.

So this week, I'm creating a plan. I'm going to fall back on those familiar things, the things that mean life will move forward and that though some things have changed, I can anticipate that some will be the same.

I will find comfort here...

Running is food for my body and soul. I love being out in the sun, breathing the juniper scented air, moving my muscles. I love the lyrics to John Denver's song;

You fill up my senses
Like a night in the forest
Like the mountains in springtime
Like a walk in the rain
Like a storm in the desert
Like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses

Come fill me again

Laundry. I find laundry comforting. I've taken our laundry room as my own, and keep a Bible there. I pray while I fold. I pray for the little feet that fill the socks I fold, pray that they'll quickly find the straight and narrow. It's warm and yummy laundry-praying time. Comfort.

I will drink lots of water. It's good for you and I feel a
little like a queen when I indulge in my yummy
Trader Joe's flavored water. A queen? I know,
it doesn't take much.

Family is the center of my days, this week I'll play more games, read more boy-books, look, listen and linger a bit more.



I'll sneak some time in too, for some dear friends. Friends are therapy for the heart, and we all know that we can't possibly spend all 7,000 words on our husbands...

Rest is up there on my list too,
sleep is nothing to shake a stick at...I need it,
regularly.

I'll devote extra time to my sweet Ralph, he and I have been passing by each other all week, we need more time than usual. So I'll make time to chat with him more, do some good things for him. He works so hard and has been fantastic watching the kids so much so I could be with family. I am so blessed!

This is my favorite reading corner lately. Perched on this cozy chair on the landing, I am ever present to the boys who streak up and down stairs. I can hear everything and don't attract too much attention. It's a great place to get in The Word, talk to God a bit, journal or read for pleasure.

And on that note;

Psalms 139: 13-18
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.