Not so today, my friend.
Tonight I cozy up to the desk with a hot cup of blackberry infusion tea in hand, ready to take on all that sameness with grace.
My sweet grandmother passed last Thursday morning.
After three six trips over that snowy mountain pass, I am glad to be home. After a week like this though, my rhythm is all messed up and I long for the pace of normal life. But when I got home, I found myself a little lost. This isn't unusual for me, I just don't know where to pick up after being so busy and gone...and grieving.
I have grieved before. A divorce, two sweet babies gone to me by miscarriage. I know grief well. It comes in waves, it never leaves soon and it's best accompanied with tears, memories, comic relief and the beat of sameness.
So this week, I'm creating a plan. I'm going to fall back on those familiar things, the things that mean life will move forward and that though some things have changed, I can anticipate that some will be the same.
I will find comfort here...
Like a night in the forest
Like the mountains in springtime
Like a walk in the rain
Like a storm in the desert
Like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses
Laundry. I find laundry comforting. I've taken our laundry room as my own, and keep a Bible there. I pray while I fold. I pray for the little feet that fill the socks I fold, pray that they'll quickly find the straight and narrow. It's warm and yummy laundry-praying time. Comfort.
little like a queen when I indulge in my yummy
Trader Joe's flavored water. A queen? I know,
it doesn't take much.
I'll sneak some time in too, for some dear friends. Friends are therapy for the heart, and we all know that we can't possibly spend all 7,000 words on our husbands...
sleep is nothing to shake a stick at...I need it,
And on that note;
Psalms 139: 13-18
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.