Our middle-est chicken in the resident snuggler around here. Don't get me wrong, our other boys love a good snuggle sometimes, but for #2 it's a requirement before and after each sleeping period. This afternoon, Hubby offered to snuggle #2 before his nap (and get a little rest in too.) I quickly took him up on it, but as usual, after a minute or two, Hubby came out in defeat. "He wants you." I snuck into my room and climbed up to my bed next to Nate. He says "You're so much better than my daddy." Fully understanding that I'm a better snuggler than daddy, I asked him "Why?" #2 couldn't come up with an answer. But I knew. It's cause I'm the mommy and mommies are softer, in many ways.
I just might need this win right now, 'cause when we're walking through the parking lot, Hubby 10 paces ahead of me, the boys flock to be by his side. Many times this brings a sigh of relief, but sometimes I just get sad and feel all sorry for myself. And things aren't changing, except for in a growing up way. In the last 6 months I weaned Chicken Little, he potty trained himself, Big Chicken turned 6 and started Kindergarten, Middle is 4....and as of this week we are officially not having any more babies. A BIG 6 months, and I know, I know, my OLDEST child is still young and I have so many beautiful years to come. However, I found my identity all wrapped up in being a mother of young children, growing chicks or feeding them for 6 years solid. So I think it should be understandable that I'm now having to redefine who I am.
And what a beautiful time to find myself in Christ. My identity should be all wrapped up in him, everything else is always changing and nothing else is sure.
As my favorite song says;
My hope is built on nothing less
than Jesus' blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
but wholly lean on Jesus name.
On Christ the solid rock I stand,
all other ground is sinking sand,
all other ground is sinking sand.
When all around my soul gives way
He then is all my hope and stay.
In every high and stormy gale,
my anchor holds within the veil.
On Christ the solid rock I stand,
all other ground is sinking sand,
all other ground is sinking sand.
So I'll find myself in The Rock, the one sure thing in this world, & I'll continue to beat their dad hands down to being the softest mommy these little boys will ever need. Soft ain't so bad.
1 comment:
Can I enthusiastically raise my hand and say I understand the shift of a little boy's allegiance to his Daddy and the gradual tearing away that leaves scars on the mommy????? Part of me wants to scream "Who housed you in her body for 9 months, gave birth, quite painfully might I add, to you and nursed you through countless sleepless nights? Is this the person you are now leaving in the dust????" But, then again, I gained so much understanding from reading Dobson's book, Bringing Up Boys and even more insight from Wild at Heart by John Eldredge... boys need their daddys in oder to learn how to become men. Our letting go is very instrumental in that... and very difficult. Be ever so grateful that your husband is not only present, but a good role model that is deeply involved and let the empty arms ache in a good way. Anything worth doing usually comes with a price.
Do me a favor? Remind me of all this next week or month when I am feeling the same thing after my boys cry when they have to ride home from church with mommy instead of daddy... (wink)
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