The lazy, unbusy life and other random chattering

The evening light is yellow.  Second day of Spring and I'm ready to head for Hawaii, or any other state that is warm.  I want to sink my body down onto a pile of warm, soft sand and nap in the afternoon sun listening to the ocean...

So much for daydreams.  The good news is that my kitchen is clean.  I've recently come to a realization about myself.  It's this:  I'm a little lazy.  You see, I've always known that I like I clean kitchen.  Most nights most of it gets done, but when it comes to those last few things I quit.  I sink myself onto the couch with my crochet or a good book and I'm content to let the rest sit.  I hate, hate, hate it when I get up in the morning and the work is already waiting for me (when does that NOT happen when you have a household of 5 people) but I'm lazy enough that I do it.  Fine with me.

Really though, the boys are getting good enough that most nights someone helps with dishes, some nights the boys work together and do all the dishes.  I love it.  I love being the lazy one and still getting the work done.

Here is my philosophy on chores.  Want to hear it?  Well, you've been reading this long...  My thoughts on chores are that the squeaky wheel, it needs to be oiled and worked more.  This is what I mean:

Mom:  Hey (son), will you gather all the trash from the house and take it out to the bin?  Then wheel the bin out to the street.  Tomorrow is trash day.

Son:  Mooooooom, (falling to the floor) I've been working aallll day.  First I had my chore, then I brushed my teeth, then I did all of my school, and now this?  *Aren't there child labor laws in WA?  Is this slavery?

Mom:  Thanks so much for helping me out.  I really appreciate it.  When you finish that work, and I wrap up the dishes we'll be done for the night!  What a relief.

Son:  Moooom, are you serious?  Do I really have to do all of that?  (Beginning of the meltdown) My brothers never have to do anything like that?  They just sit around all day playing LEGOS and laughing...do you hear that?  They're laughing?  They're laughing!  And I just have to work, work, work until my legs fall off!!

Mom:  Thanks again. (And I walk away thinking, ' and you just signed yourself up for garbage night for the next month or two until you're done whining about the work.)

So it goes.  **When that sweet son of mine responds to my request to take out the trash with a "sure" or "ok," then I know he can do that task anytime again without too much fuss.  Just gotta break him in.  I adapted this method of working my kids to the bone for 8 minutes a week about a year ago, and now my boys are pretty successfully broken in to jumping up to help me with most anything most anytime.  I love, love, love it!  On occasion we have a meltdown or sudden death due to chores, but it's just on occasion.


So life has been moving pretty smoothly lately.  I'm recovering from my near-emotional-crisis that took me from December into February.  Thanks, some of you have been checking on me.  I'm so loved!

The sun is coming out these days and doesn't that make a huge difference?  As much as I never want to move again, not at least for 20 years or something, I really would like to skip Winter for awhile.  I'm going to look into a 'Happy Light' for next Winter.  I figure I could put it in the school room...maybe we'd all be feeling better?  At any rate, Spring began yesterday and I was waiting for it.

I have gathered seeds and my materials and I need to get my indoor seedlings started.  Ralph and I have all these ideas about the yard this year but they just sit in our heads collecting dust.  I'm determined to have a veggie garden again no matter what, and I recently ordered a handful of succulents, hens and chicks and lavender for the yard anyway.  Maybe our yard progress will be haphazard and unorganized this year but I guess that would just be a repeat of the last few years.  No loss.  I'm just thankful I have dirt to climb around in and plants to care for, it soothes my soul, getting my hands in the dirt.

Next week is our last week for Classical Conversations classes.  As much as I treasure our weeks together and love seeing all my friends, I desperately long for a little peace and quiet.  We're planning to take a little Spring break ourselves.  Not going anywhere (though it would be super fun to get our bikes fixed up and do some exploring), not spending gobbs of money, just an ice cream here or a 2nd hand store there, but just getting a little break from the usual.  This time of year is the long part.  Every day I have to argue with myself about getting school started, and some days the boys are doing a LOT (too much!) on their own while I fool around doing anything BUT school.  It's a good time for a wee break. I'll try to get in equal times of play with the boys and my own work done.  Practicum is sneaking up on me, and I have some prep to do for training again.

It's such a battle to keep from the distraction of busy in today's world.  I found it simpler when the boys were young.  It seemed ridiculous to sign them up for every activity, but as they get older I have to fight off the ideas that the boys are missing some grand experience of life.  For now, we're keeping it pretty calm.  We still have karate, which I love largely because the boys have class twice a week within 2 hours on an afternoon.  I love it because it's 7 blocks from here and Joe and Nate have ridden bikes alone, or we all ride/ walk together.  I love it because classes are in the afternoon and that keeps our evenings open for Community Group and chilling out together at home.

I think kids should just be.  They should just be left to their own devices sometimes, or a lot of the time.  Leave them outside.  Leave them to figure out what to do.  Right now I have one kiddo grocery shopping with his dad, two in the back yard ripping apart a broken wooden chair and using the legs as drumsticks.  I like that.  I like letting them figure out things to do.  Sometimes they're destructive and I have to stick my head out there and bring them back down to planet "this stuff is still my parents' stuff,"  sometimes they get in fights and I help them talk it out.  More often not.  I want the boys to learn to navigate life.  Sometimes they get hurt.  I'd rather have them getting hurt in the backyard then on a stupid text-gossip-rumor.

I don't want zombie kids.  Pretty sure that apocalypse is closer than we could ever imagine.  Zombies, and we're growing them right in our own homes.  Just feed them what they want and plug them into the closest electronic device, leave them.  Pretty soon they'll be unable to focus in the presence of  that orb of light in the sky.  They'll be unable to speak and only make noise when their devices are removed or turned off, or heaven forbid...something goes wrong and it turns off.

There is my rant.  Seriously, though, I know these zombie-kids because I've come far too near to losing my own boys.  A few weeks ago I decided just to turn all that media junk off during the week.  Spring is springing and my boys were getting way addicted.  They get a few hours over the weekend and I'm so, so happy with the changes around here.  Waking up kids!

*these are real quotes from my household
** this really, really does happen, too.

Now that you've reached the end of my blogpost, stop over and feed my fake fishies.  They're cute, and I don't think I've fed them for a few months.

Survival Mode for a Homeschooling Mama

Gonna be real with you, folks. This has been a tough season for me. I've spent most of this year doing some digging around in my heart-closets, I've discovered more junk than I knew a heart could hold. As I've been seeking The Lord, talking to a friend or two, crying, I've still been needing to do my job.

Believe me, I'm wishing there were subs for this. Wishing I could call in sick. But sadly, as all mothers know, life doesn't stop when you're sick, or tired, mad or heart-sick.

So this is why someone coined the term "survival mode."  Some days are just like that. Me, groping along withy boys, doing my best when I'm having a crummy day.

Admittedly this is much easier than it used to be. The boys are older, can all read, write- do a few things alone. So I've kind of worked over the last year or two to help the boys to do school on their own some days. The boys call it 'easy school'. I call it mom is lazy (or upstairs journaling) school.

We have a white board in the school room, I write down a checklist for each of the kids. They love this!  Then I just send them off to work. They can work through math, some language arts, review CC, AWANA, Latin, on their own. I usually double their assigned reading.

And then I go, clean of I'm mad or cry if I'm sad.

I've been reading and learning about grief (in my case, delayed grief.)  I'm learning about grief containers.  Allowing myself certain times of the day, certain places to let myself grieve and be sad.  It doesn't always seem that simple, but I'm learning.

I'm also learning about self soothing.  Taking care of myself like a mom would care for her sad little one.  Take a bath, take a walk, take a cup of tea or a phone call.  Do some of those things that help me to feel a bit better, or just things that have been points of joy for me.

So we're rolling with it, the boys and I.  Homeschool wouldn't be complete without it's fair exposure to 'real life' studies, right?  While I mostly work to protect the boys from the harshness of my emotions, I allow them to know that I'm working through things, I've been sad, and it's not about them.  It's the best I can do until I train a substitute.   Applications?

River Ice

 Early this month Ralph & I took the boys for an outing, just a walk along the frozen riverbanks.  Seems we were starved for fresh air, I breathed long and deep the sunshine.

We drove for a change to a nearby park and walked South toward the sloughs filled with bird life, quiet and open.

The frozen ice on the riverbanks was a treat to discover.  Treasure for us all, something to collect, something to crush- a boys' delight.


February has been winter warm.  I've said it before, I'm certain.  Seasons are a constant reminder to me.  A reminder that though change is a guarantee, God's faithfulness is behind it all.  He will be the same, and life will continue to change right before my eyes.  He is steadfast, God is faithful. I'm so thankful.

School is going well, we're nearly 2/3 of
the way through the year.  This year is so very…academic and different.  A steady, almost predictable kind of day each day.  I didn't ever think this day would come, our routine is set and easy to keep.  Some days we have glitches.  A few weeks ago I spent the morning mopping more than 10 gallons of water out of our flooding basement instead of teaching.  The boys helped me with disaster recovery…call that life school?  Our journey with Latin has been a delight, and we're seeing it everywhere these days.

I recently spent the afternoon with my sweet friend and her 4 kiddos, all 7 and under.  I was shocked to realize just how far away I had come from being a mama of little ones.  When did my life get so quiet?  Well, a new sort of noise litters my house.  Giggles from a far off room.  Boy noises, (need I say more?) silliness, Oh, the silliness.  I had NO idea about the silliness!  Lord help me with that!

The realization of how quickly it's all going serves as a reminder that my days of speaking in to the boys lives are few.  I'm waking up to the present again- I have today with these boys and I'd love to just spend it on educating, and snuggling up on the couch, reading to these boys and laughing with them at their own silliness.  Teaching them God's Word, being transparent in a way that allows them to see that I desperately need God is all these days are for, right?

It's easy to get caught up in the hubbub.  What you couldn't know is that for the last six months I have been doing the hard, hard kind of heart work that sucks the very breath out of a girl some days.  I've been counseling and journaling.  Workbooking and praying through very old heartache, and some that's not so old.  But this season has been so good, so rich and vital to my life.  I want very much to live with a heart of flesh.  It's God that does this work, now isn't it.  Try as I might I just cannot heal myself.  It's amazing how in a quiet hour of prayer God can draw pain and hurt out of me and replace it with peace.  I've a long, long way to go.  But I'm going.

Alrighty, I wanted to spend more time
writing, but time to get to life again.  For now, more pics:

A lot of photos & silly excuses

I miss blogging.

I have been sitting around this evening, catching up on blog posts that are months old, how very sad.  Where once my life was a struggle to NOT think about everything I could blog, these days blogging has fallen to the back burner, the back of my mind, the back of the line and I'm just sad about it.

I wonder if it's the new location of our computer.  We have it placed in a spot that makes it seriously uncomfortable for me to work.  I'm looking on Craig's List for a small table or desk that would better suffice.  But the truth is that I'm just out of hours, life is full and good.

I have made time to do other things lately;

mass quantity dinners, 

making warmth and keeping warm,

keeping my busy boys busy,

making crafty Christmas things with those busy boys,

sitting at a desk in a quiet room with my cat, God and a lot of thoughts and some good books,

keeping boys busy learning to crochet,

enjoying Winter,

mass producing warmth,

admiring this painting (from my in-laws house),

watching snowball fights,

loving my morning view,

spending Christmas with family,

e*hem.  Yes, lots of this,

staring into their sweet eyes,

keeping warm with my Mama whilst those boys skate on the ice,

how could I not stare into those eyes?

having a fun date night with my 7 year old boy,

enjoying our new Settler's expansion pack (Thank You, Sister!)

...and pictionary with the family, of course!

And now it's January 5 and January 7 is the beginning of school again.  Things are going well with school but I've found that I'm spending more time there this year (not unexpected, as the boys get older.)  I'm loving the Latin for Children curriculum we've started, and I'm loving that my oldest boy is doing more and more of his own work and scheduling for school.  

I'll be trying to stop around here more often, I really enjoy this quiet little corner of my world...and I do love to share photos, and I have gobbs of photos.  

December 5 Daily Book

Outside my window...It's still dark for now, but skies have been blue and clear, for that I'm thankful.  

I am thankful for... the quiet of the morning.   I seem to have a bit of an early internal clock.  But I really look forward to the early morning when I'm the only one sneaking around the house.  

Ralph got me a Kindle for a belated birthday gift.  I never thought I'd enjoy one, but I'm thankful to read Les Mis without squinting at my phone or hauling around a 10 lb book.

From the learning rooms... This is our first full week working through the new Latin curriculum, Latin for Children.  So far I really like it.  I think learning how to use a new curriculum can be a job within itself!  But we're at home (no CC for a few weeks) and I'm enjoying focusing on our Boys Noise School.

We take school to the library every week or so.  Very cozy. 

From the kitchen...This week I'm making mass batches of Tuna Casserole & Lemon-Poppyseed muffins for the freezer and our tummies.  

I am wearing...jammies, robe, long socks.  It's early here yet.  

This is an honest picture.  The boys gathered around our sweet little tree for a photo...Joey promptly stepped on Lijh's toes.  This is what I captured.  :)

I am creating...a new method of chores for our family.  It's working quite well.  Rather than each to their own several chores, we've been doing chores together.  We tackle things like de-sticking the kitchen table & chairs, detailing the car, cleaning all the bathrooms.  It's been really effective for me, and the boys all voted to work together.  I am also getting to teach better as we go to be sure that things get done correctly and well.  No sense in doing 1/2 chores.  I really like this system for this season.

I am going...to work again toward letting my children suffer their own consequences when they fail.  This is hard for me.  

I am reading...Les Miserables.  The boys and I began a new Advent book yesterday and I fell in love with it right away.  Jotham's Journey, it's called.  

Nate painted this sweet little elf.  It's not finished, he says.  But I love it anyway.

I am hoping...to go back to the doctor today, get some better drugs.  I still have this sinus infection...I'm really ready to be well.

I am hearing...clock tick. That's all.  Waiting to hear the coffee pot kick on.  

Around the house...been scrubbing.  

One of my favorite things...having the tree up in Advent, all the twinkle-sparkle lights around the house!

A few plans for the rest of the week: school, karate, a meeting or two, little this, little of that.  

Here is picture thought I am sharing...

Autumn Day Book

Cleaning up the leaves of the Sycamores

Outside my window...It's still dark, and cold, cold, cold.  31' right now, and cooling off like Autumn rolls into Winter.  I haven't been working in the garden a bit, it's a bit spooky out there with giant frozen tomato plants and stalks of the Summer sunflower lying around.  The squirrels see it at a garden, yet though.  Think I'll save it for another day.  

I am thankful for... my husband.  Ralph and I have been doing some of the really, good hard work that a marriage takes (see MORE than maintenance here).  The last few months have been devoted on both our parts to spending a lot of time together, fine tuning, all that stuff.  The work has been so very hard, but last night I sat in the family room while he took the boys up to bed.  I listened to his deep voice, so tender with his little men, loving and reassuring and I'm so, so thankful for a dedicated, determined husband.  It's a good thing to appreciate your spouse, and I'm doing so with new eyes.  Man, I love that man.  

Following that, but not too closely, I'm thankful for my fabulous Naturopath.  Yesterday I snuck into her office suspecting that my cold has been lingering far too long.  I am so grateful for such a sweet little staff at her office, so grateful that they squeezed me in to get me set up to treat this sinus infection.  So thankful for all the help our family has gotten from her in the last 6 months.

Finally I'm thankful for Classical Conversations, again.  All of the wonderful community that has come from this group, all of the fun my boys have with their friends.  It's fantastic.  I'm thankful, however, that today is our last day of in-class for the year, we'll be hunkering down and focusing on Boys Noise School and Christmas-December activity now.  For a December break, I am so thankful!!

Headed to the library.  Seriously?  

From the learning rooms... we're just getting back into business.  We took the week of Thanksgiving off.  We have, for the year, however, gotten into our groove.  Into our 12th week of school, first Trimester is done!!  Our days this year consist of Bible, Scripture Memory, Prayer (please!), CC Memory Work, Geography, Story of the World: Ancient History, (my favorite!!)  Math, reading and Language Arts.  Over Christmas break I'm determined to begin the 'Latin for Children' curriculum I bought. I'm always tweaking and challenging too, and find that a bump in our life (break) is usually conducive to inspiration and good change...so I'm expectant.  I'm also working up a new Math game.  I'll tell you about it when it's ready.  

From the kitchen...Ooo!  This is a fun one to tell you about!  I'm seeing success in my scheme to both save time and money on dinner meals.  One day I'll sit down and spell it out for you, for now here's what's happening:  each week I've been buying enough food to prepare 5 of one meal.  The first week I made 5 lasagne.  Of course we ate one that night and then I tucked the rest in the freezer.  Every three weeks I'll pull out a lasagne and I'll have a night of no cooking.  It's frugal because I was able to shop sales and buy food in bulk.  I've been doing this with different meals for three weeks.  In about 10 more weeks, we'll have FIVE nights of already prepared dinners a week, and one day a week of cooking five meals (all the same).  My goal is to reduce our grocery budget by $50-75 a week, and eventually get some lunches and breakfast in there too!!

Snuggled up and playing with Lijh in his morning-bed.

I am wearing...jammies.  It's early here yet.  And I'm thinking I need to go hit my local thrift stores for some color.  I tend to wear black, black, black in the Winter.  Trying to fight this.  Maybe I just need a scarf.  Green?  :

I am creating...a crochet blanket.  For no one in particular.  Thanks to inspiration from a friend I'm also trying to create a more detailed, homey environment around here.  I'd like more things hanging on walls.  More thrift shopping...

Boys Noise School Geography

I am going...to 1. read my Bible and pray 2. Get ready for the day 3. Go to school 4.  Come home and rest for a month.

I am reading...Les Miserables.  Yes, I'm tackling it.  I'm 1/3 of the way through and hope to finish it before I see the movie after Christmas.  

Settlers with My Dad:  A favorite game around here lately.  

I am hoping...to begin semi-scheduled blogging again.  ;)  Also to start excersizing ...find something that works for me.  

I am hearing...heater humm, coffee click maker and a boy upstairs, playing quietly in his room.

Around the house...been scrubbing.  

One of my favorite things...Date night with Ralph.  Wednesdays are AWANA for the boys which provides an instant date night for us.  We usually try and go for a little dinner or coffee.  I always, always look forward to it.  And then Survivor.  I know, silly TV but I love having something to look forward to.  

A few plans for the rest of the week: school, karate, a playdate Friday, and hanging out with my husband.  Oh, and I plan to get rid of this sinus infection and be well.  

Here is picture thought I am sharing...

My Four Boys....look at all of those feet.  :)  

Rain

The rain is fitting today.  It comes, slow and steady and keeps me tucked into the warmth of the house.  But still I watch is trail down the windows and trees, slow and steady.

My mom always said grief was an ocean.  The waves wash over you and then let up for awhile.  After these heart-torn years it seems I know grief well, an acquaintance, not so much a friend.  Sometimes an ocean, sometimes a slow and steady rain.

Either way it doesn't let me choose when it comes.  It washes over me this morning, a rhythmic pat at my heart as I sweep the bunnies and dust people & pets have tracked around my home.

Raindrops and teardrops...

 for the losses of my extended family,

for a sweet friend who is fighting cancer,

for her family who fight with her,

for the excruciating, good work I'm pushing through with the love of my life,

for the slow farm work of growing boys and hopeful prayers,

for the years of pain piled up in my heart; the process of learning to let God have that burden in exchange for His always lighter load. 

So rain on, this morning, skies.  My heart may need the water to stay alive, stay supple under God's careful hand.

-    -     -

1 Peter 5:7

Cast your cares on the Lord, for he cares for you.

Psalm 55:22

Cast your cares on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.

You're invited to join me on my journey...

I am defective.

That's what the tests read...which is really probably no surprise to you in that a) you know me and it's easy to see I'm not quite normal and b) most people are.

This summer I went searching for some answers for my health.  I have been sleeping very poorly for a couple of years, and have experienced increased exhaustion, flat, at times down moods.  I knew from experience that my family physician would be happy to slap an anti-depression med on me.  In truth I was ready for that if that's what my true diagnosis was, but I was in search for a deeper diagnosis so I went to see a highly recommended Naturopathic Doctor.

After forms, questions about family history, health history, diet, excersize, etc I gave 11 vials of blood for testing.

The results were that I have a genetic mutation.  The neat name for this mutation is MTHFR.  I have two copies of the 1298 gene.  This means that I got one copy from each parent, meaning both of my parents, of course, also have MTHFR.

If you are related to me at all, there is a good chance that you have at least one MTHFR gene.

Studies show about 40% of people have at least one gene, and interestingly, 90% of children with Autism have MTHFR.


MTHFR, in short, prevents a persons' body from methylating (or processing) vitamin B.  This break down causes a body to hold onto toxins, can block seratonin from releasing into the brain, amongst other things.   Of course vitamin B is the energy vitamin, so I am also greatly lacking energy.

Other symptoms of MTHFR (and not limited to):

Anxiety
Depression
Hair Loss
Fibromyalgia
Memory Loss
Miscarriages
Stroke/Heart Attack
Bipolar
Cleft Lip
Spina Bifita
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
Irritable Bowel Syndrome

A teeny bit of history for you, MTHFR was discovered through the Human Genome project in the early 90's. If you haven't heard of this diagnosis, you're probably in the majority. I recently went to a seminar on MTHFR and there were many physicians in attendance who are just learning about it and how to treat it.

 A certain Dr. Rawlins (OB) in the area has taken on the study and educating others about MTHFR, as treatment for MTHFR saved his son's life a few years back.   It seems to me that locally there is a lot of educating and information on MTHFR available, but not so much in other regions.

So now I've plunged into the simple treatment for this defect, I take methylfolate (Deplin and Metanx are prescribed supplements, often covered by insurance) and methylated B vitamins (not 'regular' B) and I'm feeling like a new person. I don't need to nap every day! I'm not dragging anymore and best of all I don't feel like I'm fighting off a little raincloud over my mind and heart anymore! Thanks to these and another supplement that has helped to regulate my cortisole levels I'm sleeping all night...for nearly a month.

I wanted to share this information with you in the event that you may be struggling in one or more of these areas. Anti depressants are very helpful, but if you can take a supplement that will alleviate the first problem, rather than just fixing it, it may help you. I know a few of you out there with fybromyalgia, and oh, that some of you might feel better, even a little. (If you have fibromyalgia, please listen to this woman's story) Again, your physician may not be familiar with MTHFR, you may need to research it and bring information to them and ask for testing and treatment.  I would love to share more with you, please comment or email me at puddlestomper@gmail.com to discuss what I'm learning more. This has been a pivotal discovery for me. I'm feeling so much better. I hope this could help you, too. To learn more, look at these :

 http://www.methyl-life.com
or