Rain

The rain is fitting today.  It comes, slow and steady and keeps me tucked into the warmth of the house.  But still I watch is trail down the windows and trees, slow and steady.

My mom always said grief was an ocean.  The waves wash over you and then let up for awhile.  After these heart-torn years it seems I know grief well, an acquaintance, not so much a friend.  Sometimes an ocean, sometimes a slow and steady rain.

Either way it doesn't let me choose when it comes.  It washes over me this morning, a rhythmic pat at my heart as I sweep the bunnies and dust people & pets have tracked around my home.

Raindrops and teardrops...

 for the losses of my extended family,

for a sweet friend who is fighting cancer,

for her family who fight with her,

for the excruciating, good work I'm pushing through with the love of my life,

for the slow farm work of growing boys and hopeful prayers,

for the years of pain piled up in my heart; the process of learning to let God have that burden in exchange for His always lighter load. 

So rain on, this morning, skies.  My heart may need the water to stay alive, stay supple under God's careful hand.

-    -     -

1 Peter 5:7

Cast your cares on the Lord, for he cares for you.

Psalm 55:22

Cast your cares on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.